Embracing Vulnerability's Ride

Brian King

Learning to embrace vulnerability is a life lesson that many never learn. Many make poor life decisions professionally and personally based upon the fear of being vulnerable. Instead of learning to embrace vulnerability we see many trying to fight and deny their vulnerability. We see this in the people who attempt to make their bodies, minds and spirits hard and 'invulnerable'. The person denying themselves the pleasure of 'falling' in love so that they will not get 'hurt' or have to take a risk. Those people who make their body and spirit hard and 'tough' at the expense of completeness and fullness. The doorman who makes his outward appearance fearsome, and the martial artist who trains and sacrifices to get a little faster or a little stronger even taking dangerous drugs and sacrificing time from loved ones to gain that little bit of 'edge'. The many who view an injury or weakness as a handicap instead of enjoying the fact that you are alive and now able to move and train in a 'different' way. You see those who walk down the sidewalk glaring at each passerby as if they are a personal challenge to their vulnerability almost as if daring an attack to prove that they are not vulnerable. The many great business opportunities missed from the fear of the 'risks'.

I am saddened when I see people living life in this condition. There is such a profound freedom in the letting go of the fear of being vulnerable. Realizing that she may say no to the dance but she may say yes. Realizing that you are likely to take a hit during combat but also realizing that the hit could very well lead to survival and victory. Accepting that you may lose or fail no matter what the endeavor or test but that the losing and failing are not the important things, there will always be someone bigger, faster, stronger or luckier than you. There is always a chance that something which you have no control over will turn against you. Rather than focusing on beating all the odds I have found that it is better to go with the challenges that life throws at you. Accept the bumps and lumps and see where they take you, the ride is what gives life its flavor. Learn to not just take the hits that life gives, but learn to enjoy them and use them to your advantage turning the bumps into an amusement ride and letting the momentum of falling lead you into new and unexpected directions.

Some tips for learning to embrace vulnerability.

If you never leave home unarmed do so now and then. Watch a little one taking their first steps and watch a youngster taking their first solo bicycle ride to once again experience the joy of falling and getting up. While doing martial art drills at times handicap yourself so that you can not 'win', (wearing a blindfold, handcuffing your arms behind your back, tying your legs together, handcuffing yourself to a heavy object or another person to limit you movement, a tack or marble into the bottom of your shoe or all the above) the goal being to survive not necessarily win. As you get over the initial fear of looking stupid or losing you start to find the true freedom of movement and the many choices that come with it. This freedom is when life and living truly starts. Life is short enjoy the ride!